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Gender Wars: Has The Time Come For Men And Women To Heal Their Emotional Wounds?

When it comes to the mainstream culture, it is not uncommon for men to be put down and to be seen as the bane of the earth. This doesn’t mean that women are not also seen as the problem, but this could be seen as something that takes place underground, to speak.

So, while there are plenty of newspapers and TV stations that are only too happy to paint all men as being a certain way; there are also plenty of websites and videos online that are happy to paint all women as being a certain way. It could then be said that it is socially acceptable to put men down but the same can’t be said when it comes to putting women down, which is why this has to be done in a more covert manner.

Plenty of Fuel
It seems that not a day goes by when there isn’t something in the mainstream media that doesn’t add to the view that men are worthless human beings. Sometimes, something small will be used to prove this, while at others, it will be something that is far bigger.
For example, when a woman in the public eye claims that she has been harassed by a man, not a lot of thought is given as to whether or not this actually took place. There are at least two reasons for this: firstly, women are often portrayed as innocent and pure and, secondly, all men are often portrayed as primitive beings that can’t control their urges.

The Accepted Narrative
Thus, regardless of whether or not a man is actually guilty, he is going to be used to support the view that all men are the same. Clearly, if a man is found to be guilty the appropriate action should be taken, but, without the evidence that he has done anything wrong, it shouldn’t be assumed that he has done anything wrong.
The people in the media who support this view of men don’t seem to care about the damage that something like this could do to an innocent man’s life. It’s as though a man deserves to have his whole life ruined, irrespective of if he has done anything wrong.

Validation
And, if a woman believes that are men are the same, it is going to be music to her ears to hear the mainstream media talk about men in this way. A woman like this may have been in a number of abusive relationships, for instance.
Seeing a man go from a position of power to being destroyed is then going to be extremely satisfying. She probably won’t have met this man, but seeing him go down will allow her to indirectly experience revenge.

The Other Side
When it comes to what is taking place away from the mainstream media, there is plenty of content that basically goes into how worthless women are. One of the main themes is that women can’t be trusted and that if they find another guy who has more money/status, they will soon disappear.
And, if a man has been in a relationship where the woman walked away or if he has found it hard to experience fulfilment in this area of his life, for instance, he can be only too happy to hear other men say that women are useless and good for one thing. It will be as though they are enslaved to their biology, are heartless, and are not consciousness beings, unlike men who are in control of their urges, have a heart, and are aware.

Letting of Steam
Due to what a man has been through he will no doubt carry a lot of anger, anger that is likely to allow him to avoid feeling powerless and helpless, for instance. The experiences what he reads about online will end up enforcing what he already believes.
This is then likely to create even more distance between him and women and make it even harder for him to experience fulfilment in this area of his life. Even so, what this will do is allow him to be right, and this is one of the ego minds greatest needs – being wrong is seen as something that will lead to death.

A Messy Situation
There are then women who hate all men and men who hate all women, along with men who hate themselves and pedestalize women and women who hate themselves and pedestalize men. Therefore, even though it is not possible to say that it is only men who are under attack, it is undoubtedly more socially acceptable to attack men.
If someone believes that all men/women are the same and is happy to see a man/woman suffer, it is likely to show that they are carrying a number of emotional wounds. If they were able to get in touch what how they feel below their anger and rage, they may find that they feel rejected, powerless, helpless and worthless, amongst other things.

A Reactive Existence
Being in touch with these feelings is then likely to cause them to feel incredibly vulnerable; whereas being in touch with the more surface level emotions (such as anger and rage) is likely to allow them to feel strong and powerful. But, while living in this way can allow them to feel strong and powerful, it is going to cause them to be controlled by how they feel.
Not only this, it will stop them from being able to realize that not all men/women are the same and to see them as individuals. What they believe will define how they experience life, thereby stopping them from being able to experience anything that goes against what they believe.

A Deeper Look
When it comes to the emotional wounds that someone can carry, what has happened in their adult life is certainly going to play a part. Yet, what is likely to play an even bigger part is what took place during their early years, and what has been passed down from their ancestors can also play a part.
What took place during their early years that can be what is defining how they perceive men/women and the kind of men/women they will be attracted to and attract. If someone had a father or mother who was abusive, for instance, it would have most likely caused them to experience a lot of trauma, and, it would have laid down the foundations for them to be drawn to men/women who would also abuse them.

Two Levels
How they were treated at this stage of their life would have become familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to the ego mind/unconscious mind. The years would then have passed but they are still going to carrying the trauma of being violated and abused.
It is then not going to matter what their conscious mind wants to experience, as their unconscious mind will want to experience what took place all those years ago. The trouble is that if someone is not aware of how their early years are affecting their adult life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim and to blame all men/women.

Self-Victimization
If going within and working through emotional wounds was easy, it would be a part of everyone’s life One of the biggest challenges to doing this type of work is that the mind disconnects from the body to avoid pain, which can result in someone’s inner wounds being projected onto others.
The people who they come into contact with will then press their buttons, so to speak, but they won’t be able to see that these people are mirroring back what they need to resolve within their own being. Without this understanding, they can end up seeing themselves as a victim and other people as perpetrators.

Conclusion
If someone wants to grow and develop and no longer wants to feed into this drama, they may need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to gradually work through their emotional wounds.
But, if someone is caught up on their own stuff due to their current level of consciousness, there will be no reason for them to change. As a result of this, they will continue to live a reactive life and to play out their early drama.
Teacher, Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand nine hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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